When I hear people like Nadine Collie, daughter of Charleston, South Carolina murder victim Ethel Lance, say she forgave Dylan Roof, my heart just drops.  I get it.  I get that the gesture of forgiveness upholds the belief that the victims’ legacies live on in love.  I get it’s the Christian thing to do.  I get that it’s the high road to take versus coming down to the transgressor’s level.  I get it.  But I wonder what signal it sends to those who want to see my son dead.  Or your son dead or incarcerated.  I think that the knee jerk reaction of forgiveness might undermine the #BlackLivesMatter message (my opinion, mind you).  I think that the timing of forgiveness can appear to sweep atrocities perpetrated against the Black community under the rug the same way a crooked police cover up can; or absence of media coverage does.  Do you really think Dylan Roof cared that he was forgiven by his victim’s families?  What do you think he would have said if he wasn’t incarcerated at that time and free to speak his REAL mind?  That’s not a rhetorical question.  Really think about it.  What do you think his response, as a free man, would have been?

For me, no, I don’t forgive people, White or Black or otherwise, who rip lives from our community.  Or ANY community.  I might consider forgiving the person after they’ve been imprisoned or executed.  It’s easier to think of forgiving their memory than them.  Forgive their survivors or their estate.  Our lives are left emotionally bankrupt in the wake of murders and I feel the “eye for an eye” theory (also in the bible along with forgiveness) should be at play long before forgiving someone who murdered a member of my immediate family, or global family.

Forgiveness is earned, in my eyes.  I wouldn’t simply forgive someone because I’m a Christian.  I wouldn’t forgive a murderer simply because the bible said it.  Consider where your biblical teachings originated; and why.  Consider the bible was revamped by King James from whatever original version it existed in prior.  Research King James if you don’t know what I’m referring to.  Forgiveness is a common sense tool that we should use like a credit card.  You don’t just pull it out and swipe it whenever it suits you because you have to consider the additional costs.

People should be held accountable to the full extent of the law and not let off the hook with forgiveness.  Don’t diffuse a situation that someone created for themselves by forgiving them.  I mean, I understand that the wheels don’t stop turning when a murderer is forgiven but DAMN!  Hell yeah, judge ‘em to the extent of their actions.  I know God will judge them in the end but in the meantime, forgive them?  No.  Not out the box anyway.  Forgiveness is earned like love and respect.  You don’t just give it away or its value and meaning erode.